A simple thought

I wanted to comment on Annette's blog on this subject but I felt that it would be better to post it on my blog since I wanted to tackle so many issues. Since I wanted to say so much on the subject, leaving a really long comment on someone else's blog would not fit right. It has been in the works since June and I just put the finishing touch on it. Enjoy!

*Warning: This post is not meant to offend, or criticize, or present a counter argument to Annette's blog. It is merely to present more perspective on the same subject.

I think it is true that it seems that there is a sizeable gap between the young male and female constituents in the Church. From the outset you can see and talk about how the guys and girls in the Church are on different wavelengths so to speak. I think partly that is due to how both sexes mature at a different pace but the argument cannot be simplified like that. There has to be and there is more to it than just "maturity".

It has been my experience talking with both guys and girls in the Church that on many levels, the girls in the 18-25 years old range seem to have the right set of priorities. They are more serious about God, the Church, life, and all the things that sometimes guys do not begin to think about until taking a few bumps in the road or experimenting with life's pleasures. Of course this argument generalizes way too much but it is the prevailing opinion and/or fact.

I have said it myself to some of the girls whom I consider good friends. I think that because of their example it has helped out some of us guys to start taking God and all other things in life more seriously. When you see people your age grow and achieve wonderful things it inspires you to do the same. Of course this is too rosy of a picture and a lot of other things occur underneath the surface that need to be said.

I don't want to pit this post as a "guy vs. girl" perspective but it undoubtably seems that the guys get an unfair rap as to how far we are from truly committing to something as serious as a relationship and/or marriage. Things cannot be simplified to the point where "guys aren't preparing themselves, aren't ready to commit while girls are taking the right steps." There is some truth to that but I wouldn't say it is as far reaching as one would think. I'm all for people (both men and women) educating themselves and improving their overall knowledge but it does not necessarily mean you've got everything clicking in the right direction. It just means you're receiving an education.

Yes you do learn how to organize, prioritize, develop responsibility, and all that jazz but I think we're being a little bit too dreamy with what college is really like. Are we all really that responsible, goal oriented, and organized as we attend(ed) college? I think we like to think so but if we really analyze ourselves we would know for certain that we are definitely lacking in those respective areas, as males and females. It is more than just the material preparation though, relationships are hard work and require dedication, sacrifice, forgiveness, and a LOT of understanding.

It is fair to say that the guys and girls want to eventually settle down and have radiantly joyful marriages. It seems though that people are afraid of taking a chance on developing a relationship. It is often said that "marriage is a leap of faith" but I would like to add that love in and of itself is a leap of faith. It seems that there is a fear to enter in a relationship because we are afraid of getting hurt. You never know how it might end up but you can never find out unless you try. I was having this conversation with a good friend of mine before I left for DC this summer and she seemed to agree. We want the satisfaction and happiness of a wonderful relationship without giving people a chance.

It goes along with Josh Kerr's post regarding the myth that there are not good guys around. If the guy does not fit the girl's frame of view (i.e. is not flashy, etc.) then he goes unnoticed. We all need to grow and look beyond what we WANT in someone else and look for what we NEED. This is the part where God would come in and provide that partner that complements us the best. Of course we would have to do our part in giving that person the time of day. In order to reach that fulfillment we need to take a risk, a calculated risk but a noble one.

P.s. I know it has been a while since I updated my blog but I will be posting some stories about the summer and what I've been up to since getting back from DC.