Back To Reality

Although when you look at it, this world that we come back to is nothing like the realness of the world we will help usher in and inherit at Christ's coming. It's always sad and depressing to come back after Feast, but for some reason it hit me harder than in previous years.
The Feast was in many areas my best Feast yet, but at the same time I hindered myself from enjoying it to the fullest. I came away humbled and somber from the Feast, wanting to improve in so many areas. I guess my eyes were opened this Feast to certain things and even though I learned some lessons the hard way I'm glad I learned them. The messages were awesome and there's plenty of great material in them that are going to help in the coming year.
I'm looking forward to this coming year. There is a lot of anxiousness and nervousness in regards as to what I'm going to do after school, where I am going to live, afford the bills, etc. At the same time I have a bad case of senioritis because I'm just taking it easy in terms of school, classes, tests. Let's see how it goes. I guess I fell into that mood when I went to the Pol S office to pick up my degree audit and the secretary told me, "you're a graduating senior" and handed me a pink audit. So basically 4 years of college has come down to getting handed the pink audit meaning I will be graduating! Oh yeah, you know how I do!

So much to do, so little time

I was hoping to have updated a couple of days ago but I have way too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. Atonement was very good for me here in Iowa, we had the new ministerial trainee Mr. Lovelady and his wife and kids come up to the middle of nowhere Iowa :)

It was funny to hear some of the kids say, "Only (insert here) hours until sunset!" I remember those days when I was counting down the time until I could finally chug about a gallon of water and then break the fast with our usual post-Atonement pizza. Hey Annette, it's great to see that I'm not the only one with the pizza tradition as a way to end Atonement :)

So after Church one of the Lovelady kids asked me if I had ever seen a liger. I cracked up laughing and asked him if he had seen Napoleon Dynamite because it is the only thing that you can reference that type of thing. He was about 7-8 years old and answered no but I still laughed because of the liger comment :) He also showed me some of his drawings and one of them was a bow (which I mistook for a taco :P) so I'm thinking somebody has to have referenced Napoleon to him because of the liger and bow comments. Too coincidental I tell ya!

So I think I am packed for the Feast. I started at about 9pm or something like that last night and I was talking to Jeremy in the middle of doing so. Since my plans to visit KC on Atonement went kapoot I had to call someone in the area to see if I could crash there on Friday night since I really want to get out of Iowa :) So at about 11pm I call Tiffani Millich and asked if it was possible for me to stay Friday night and Saturday night. She asked her parents and they said yes for Friday but since they're leaving Saturday night I couldn't. I have a place to stay Friday and I'm going to search online for a nice little hotel for me to stay in Saturday where I can have a miniturized bar :) Hey, it's the Feast I have to do something nice for myself. It'll actually be the first time being along in a hotel, oh well I'll probably catch up on some badly needed sleep :)

It's 4:15am and I still haven't gone to bed because I have scholarship essays to start and finish so I could send it in the mail tomorrow and I have to turn in something for my Pol S class as well because I forgot to turn it in on Tuesday. Procrastination is a killer I tell you. Actually I was planning on staying up late anyways because I was going to burn a couple of CD's since I was lacking on burning my extensive collection of music into road trip CDs. I've got 3 made so far: 2 acoustic cds, and one basically consisting of the best Usher and Frankie J songs. I want to make a reggaeton one, and hopefully a couple more acoustic ones while typing up my essay.

I think Jeremy said it best when I talked to him tonight. "You know Martin, we wait all year for the Feast and we make these awesome plans, but we wait until the last minute to pack and get everything done." I couldn't agree more :)

I hope everybody has a safe trip to and from the Feast (it's part of the awesomeness of the FOT) and most importantly, that you all have a wonderful and fruitful 2005 Feast of Tabernacle! And remember, keep it kosher ;)

It's inching closer...

The Feast is continually coming closer to its beginning and my trip to KC is happening even sooner. Even though Will Smith once said that "A Saturday night is a terrible thing to waste", here I am in my dorm room just looking for something to do. It's not like I have nothing to do either. I have a couple of essays for a Hispanic Scholarship Fund application that I need to mail before I leave for KC, I have a debate to prepare for on Tuesday, and there's also something called packing for the Feast. All of these are time consuming and I really have no idea where to start.
I sent most of my dress clothes to the dry cleaners on Friday. 13 dress shirts in all, 3 suit jackets, 5 dress pants. Let's just say that it is an expensive habit to take the dress clothes to get dry cleaned, pressed and ironed. I actually like to iron, I believe it is one of the ways to be productive while listening to some music, watching a game, a movie and you get a lot done. The thing is that after L4T, camp, and a couple of weddings my clothes needed the dry cleaners. I had a couple of coupons though so it's all good.
We had a good Sabbath here in Des Moines. We got to hear Mr. Meredith's "Endure With Faith" and it was a really good one. He talked about how things are speeding up (the 9/11 terrorists attacks, Katrina hurricane, and all the other things, etc) but I think he made an incredible point of what WE are supposed to be doing as individuals. Are WE making God and Christ the first priority in our lives? Are WE willing to pick up our cross and follow Him the entire way? It made an impact I tell you, one of those "messages that you need to hear at a certain time so as to not forget what your purpose in the Church is." It was good to hear and it was good to see everybody one last time before leaving for Atonement and the Feast.
I'm excited to say the least, I've even got some extra money (thanks to my incredible parents :)) Now the key is to make sure I invest in it wisely (I think the Fresh Prince DVDs and the Star Wars Clone Wars DVDs are included in that wise decision, lol).
I was going to post something about the Iraq War and what your opinions were on it but I think I'll leave that for later :)

Not the greatest day but...

Today was just one of those days that could have been either really awesome or just poopy. The reason I say that is because I had a test for my History of Mexico class and it was not one of the most confident test-taking experiences I've had since starting college. See I took a class with the same professor last semester and it was Tuesdays and Thursdays for 1 hour and 20 minutes. That meant that when I took his essay tests I had plenty of time to write up a pretty good essay and not leave gaping holes in the arguments because of time constraints. This semester though, his class is MWF, meaning that it is only 50 minutes in length. So today when I took his test I knew as I was writing the essay which was 2/3 of the test that I was leaving huge gaping holes in my answer but since there was so much to write I couldn't get to everything like I wanted it to. I think I did well enough to pass but not as well as I've always done in his classes. Oh well, I guess I'll see how I did next week.
Today was the beginning of the flag football single elimination playoffs and I was pretty pumped about it. My shoulder was healed up, my lower back (which has been killin' me since camp) wasn't hurting too bad so I felt pretty good about playing well. The weather was completely nasty today, it had rained, it was cold (50's compared to high 70's yesterday), and very windy too (up to 35mph winds). In a sense, it was perfect normal football weather but horrendous flag football conditions. Our defense, which had been stout and dominating, sputtered and we allowed too many big plays. Guys were wide open down the field, blown coverage but it wasn't all our fault since none of us had any cleats and it was slippery. The other team's quarterback had cleats and ran around amock and we had no way of stopping him because he could make cuts on the field and we couldn't.
The other team scored first and made a 2 point conversion and we proceeded to score and not convert the 2 pointer. I think we stopped them on defense and then I got to quarterback and it was pretty fun...in the beginning. I got some nice runs for first downs, a couple short passes, and then I finally got a nice deep ball to our deep threat and we scored a touchdown. Then we ran a good ol' fashioned Nebraska option play on the 2 point conversion and I pitched it to Mike and he got in there. I think we led for all of like 5 minutes because our defense just sucked. It didn't help that in the second half I threw stupid interceptions because once again I try to do way too much with the football. And I did not like the fact that the other team would complain about something to the refs and then a flag would be thrown to satisfy their complaints. Stupid refs I tell you, cracking because the other team was complaining when we did get some good plays going. I was really hoping we could win so that we would play tomorrow and keep going but it just didn't happen for us. Oh well, I guess I'll have to start playing basketball again a couple of times during the week so that I get my good workout in.
So that's basically the rundown on the fake unimportant things in life. For a variety of reasons I've been feeling frustrated with myself, what I am trying to accomplish and what I want to be. I have an idea of what I want to do after I'm done with school, I'm one of the best at what I do and I think I can make an impact. No, I'm not trying to change the world or anything like that but I know that whatever I do end up doing I'm going to excel in it. Not because I'm cocky or because I have more talent but because I will work hard and God rewards those who work hard and put in the effort and also lean on Him. I'm just one of those people who overanalyze, think too much and that leads to worrying.
I've been told running is the cure for everything, maybe I should take up running because everything else I've tried hasn't worked, hehehe. I really should take up something though to take my thoughts away. Maybe a vacation to PR would do well, or some hanging out with my friends...ahhh, that's where the Feast would come in handy :) The great thing is that I'm leaving for Kansas City next Thursday!!!

What I am feeling at the moment...

Creed - "My Own Prison"

A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally

Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to God
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time

You hear that? Sounds like the Calvary's coming :)

It's almost sunset and that means it is about time to start observing the Feast of Trumpets. "That sounds like a lot of fun" as my British professor said when I was explaining to him why I would not be able to attend classes tomorrow. I don't think I could have described it any better myself :)
I received my Military History test that I turned in on Wednesday and I have to say that a 90 is not a bad way to start off in that class. Things seem to be afloat this semester so far, and I hope that is able to continue when I come back from the Feast and am not able to remember ANYTHING that I learned in class. I think I would have taken 4 tests out of 5 classes and if I am able to do well on Wednesday's test (Mexican History since Independence) then I would have an A in every test before taking off for the Ozarks. Not too shabby and since I've set the bar high for myself I hope I do not fall flat on my face.
My shoulder seems to be healed up after being sore since our first intramural football game, meaning I am locked and loaded to play well. It's down to one game elimination so if we win Wednesday then our next game is Thursday. First things first though and hopefully we'll do our best :)
I am really glad that the Feast of Tabernacles is only 2 weeks away. It seems like it's taken longer for this year's Feast to roll around and I know it's going to be a blur when it actually happens because it goes by so quickly. I had been waking up to Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" because I knew that once October hit, fall festival season! Oh yeah! It will be my first Feast since being baptized so I'm looking forward to that and maybe this is finally the year I put the right balance in terms of prayer, Bible Study, fellowshipping, sleeping, etc. while at the Feast. I think Gary made a great post about this a while ago, I don't think I commented on it but I think he was dead-on with some of his assessments. This is going to be an interesting Feast in a lot of ways, at least because of the people I know going to the Ozarks. There might be drama, there might not be (I hope for the latter) and there are some interesting subplots too. Oh boy, I'm just hoping all of that can be put aside and the focus can be on the right things :)
And just as important (at least to me, lol) is the fact that the New York Yankees became AL East Champions again in what can probably be described as their toughest year in the "Joe Torre Era." They showed their mettle and hopefully it will make for a long, playoff run including extracting revenge on the Boston Red Sox, reaching and winning the World Series. That would put the icing on the cake on a very hard-fought season and I would not mind celebrating like I did from 1996-2000 :) (And I get to check out baseball scores on my cell phone, yay!)
Other than the usual school/reading/work/feeling of being overwhelmed there hasn't been much going on. It's going I guess, I've been feeling a bit down for whatever reason but nothing major I don't think.
I hope you guys have a wonderful Feast of Trumpets and remember the incredible meaning it has, thus the purpose behind my subject line :)